Same Shit, Different Night

As you may or may not know, whiskey was the official drink of last night around the not funny household. Tonight our choice poison was vodka (i just typed codva but deleted it because it was very wrong. alchohol makes you type funny).












In closing, drink as much as possible, and go Giants!

Fuck Yeah

So it's 3 am. And whiskey is great right now.













That is all I have to say.

Best Thing I bought This week

I've been strapped for cash up until this week (because I don't get paid and I drink too much). Unfortunately I really like buying things, so I've picked up a few this week. But there is one that stands up above the rest. I bought the dvd of this show:



Fuck Yeah! I know what I am doing all night!

Blogger(s) Declares War Against Sports Illustrated

NFL writer Peter King's daughter is the first casualty.
Please just leave Seth Davis out of this. Reilly is fair game.

Times Square

The building I work at is in Times Square. I saw a group of 20+ people wearing shirts that said New York City. The guys had blue, the women had pink. The pointed at the building and said "oohh, the Empire State Building." People are stupid.

Oh The Simple Things

i love this show, and this clip makes me laugh.


WAAAY to hard in my office. Thank God it's friday and there is no one here.

What To Buy Me

I'm a nerd, but this thing is fucking awesome.

Karaoke? Why not just cough naked?

I was drinking at a bar last night, because yesterday ended in "Y" (worst joke ever). At this particular bar it happened to be Karaoke Night. I've never understood karaoke. I personally can not sing at all, so that might be why. In fact, I would prefer to lock myself out of my dorm room naked freshman year as my preffered form of drunken public shaming.

Back to Karaokee, what I really don't get is why people enjoy singing other people's work so much. I mean, some of these people had awesome voices. Go start a fucking band! Why bother going to shitty bars and singing songs that other people wrote. Find some musicians, get your creative juices flowing. Why try to sound like a carbon coby of Scott Weiland (during the STP years of course, which apparently originally meant Shirley Temple's Pussy!) when you can actually try to do something different for a change. Have some originality, don't become a slave to man trying to make everyone dress the same and sing the same!

If it weren't for my horse...

I was thinking about that classic Lewis Black joke earlier, and I suddenly could not get it out of my head. WHAT DOES IT MEAN!? It was driving me crazy. I also read a post on a blog I like to read, Father Knows Shit. Next thing I know I'm trying to figure out where the fuck the goddamn mailman pees.

Then I got to wondering why does my mind do this (although it was a relief to find out that I'm not the only one with my particular sleep habits). I seem to never be able to clear it. I'm always thinking about the most random shit ever. Everything from "Is there a God" too "I wonder if colors are the same to everyone."

Then I got to wondering why whenever I open up this little updater thing, I have absolutely nothing to write about. I really wish I could just come up with something. I need to carry a notebook around and write down with all the random thoughts that enter my brain. Then I can burden all of my readers (according to site meter that is me) and I'll get content. After I have content, then I'll get the readers, then I'll get the Khaki's, then I'll get the chicks!

Free Labor!

I'm working as an Intern right now. I won't say where (because I like to pretend I have readers that will expose the awful truth and all that good stuff) but I will tell you, it sucks. I've convinced myself that working for free really isn't that bad, but it is. It's not like I hate what I'm doing, I kind of enjoy it. Its valuable life experience blah blah blah, but not getting paid for hard work (read: looking like you're working hard to get hired) kinda sucks. I take the train in every morning, grab a cup of coffee at the office, check my email, read the news, and all that other stuff that real employees do. Still, there is this incredible feeling of resentment at not getting paid. Payday comes around, everyone gets paid, which might as well be a synonym for drunk. What do I get? Well I usually get drunk too, but thats a different story all together. I'm not sure where I was going with this? How did I even get here. I was writing about something, mentioned the word drunk, and now I'm lost. Oh well. One hour left till I go home and get drunk.

I Don't Get It

I don't understand number 2 and number 3's placement in this list...i really don't. The red freakin shell...better then the BFG?!


Bastards!

Listen!

My old band, How I Became A Pirate has a new song up. Listen if you are one of the random people that stumbles on here for three seconds at a time!

Nice Move

In case you haven't heard, the Yankees traded for Sal Fasano. Famous for his stache, and for this clip below.

Backup catcher Kelly Stinett has been designated for assignment. Sweet!

You're With Me, Pinkslip

I just learned that Harold Reynolds has been fired from espn. That really just bummed me out. Harold has been on ESPN for like 11 years, so since I was 10. He seemed like competent anchor that had a relatively good grasp on the game. He actually seemed to enjoy talking about baseball, unlike others who seemed to be working just so they could afford the lavish luxaries that come with the territory.

But seriously, what the fuck is wrong with ESPN. I just don't understand why they would fire the only competent host of Baseball Tonight right now. I just plain don't understand it. Now don't get me wrong, I enjoy some of the other host (read: Tino Martinez when he played on the Yankees) but some people just don't belong on television, like Tino Martinez while on BBTN looking like a dear in headlights, and John Kruk...that guy should not be allowed in front of a camera, ever.
Turns out it was sexual harassment. Oops!

I Wish I Had More To Write About

I really need to come up with more ideas to write about. I think i'm going only enter into this blog when I am drunk. That would make for entertaining entries. I'm very clever (read stupid) when I'm drunk. I come up with all kinds of interesting things to say. There's a wine party in like 20 minutes, so i think i'll drink about half a bottle and return to fill the internet with my creativity!

Huh?

When the fuck did soccer rule the USA. Mild commercial sucess doesn't really seem like ruling the USA, but what do I know. I never saw the cosmos. Lets go Big Blue!

Awesome

I really wanna see a scanner darkly. For some reason I just think this movie is going to be an epic cinematic experience that I will remember forever. I kinda feel like I am setting myself up for a huge dissapointment. Oh well, i'm still gonna see it.

Literally The Most Depressing Story We Have Ever Read

WHHHYY!

The Way Coaching Was Back in Your Day

There has been a recent trend in the sporting world. shitloads of coaches. Apparently these days you don't just need a few guys to run a team. You need a lot more. Former Jets coach Herman Edwards blames this phenomenon on one thing and one thing only (at least according to how far I actually read in the article). Headsets. This should not surprise anyone. Who wouldn't want to wear one of those headsets on the sidelines. Hell, if the Giants ask I'll be the defensive shoelace coordinator on third and long if get to wear a headset. Instead of delivering a football to some guy in the stands they should give him a headset if his seat gets picked. There's a serious untapped market for all of this, and we here at I'm Not Funny intend to explore it. We'll let our readers know as soon as we do, mostly because we are the only reader. ::sigh::

Oh Well

We could not find that clip on youtube...and say bah to google video. At least we still have that one about poo, so that technically makes this a blog. That and all the we's. Weee

Hale-Bopp Ain't Got Nuthin on This

We just realized that the shooting star intro for the MLB All Star game was completely ridiculous. We need to find it on YouTube.
On a semi related note, the game was pretty boring until the end. We love Mariano

And hate this man

Today's Big News

Barbaro hurt, but seems healthy

This Happened

That's all I got in me. Oh well. Good thing I only have zero readers. If anyone gets here via random blog button I apologize. I mean we apologize. Is that not how blogs work?

Sometimes The Language Barrier Doesn't Matter

Did they continue to serve the free drinks?

If you want to go on a cruise, only read the first paragraph.
Wave

Blogdom

I've decided to start blogging, mostly because I want to fit in . That's really the only reason to do this. I doubt anyone will ever discover this. It would be damaging to my reputation. Most people think I'm not funny at all, so I'll probably use this space to post anything that I think instead of saying it out loud and being ridiculed. Well that's it then. Considering I'm probably the only reader here.
And now this!